Tuesday, January 20, 2004

my babble 1/20/04
hi. i am so not happy. then again, am i ever? no. well anyway thats all really. sadness. and i'm sick too. all anyone ever does in this house anymore is fight, even if it doesn't involve shouting. just constant confrentation. My sister gets mad at me when i talk, but she teases me when i don't because i'm quiet. then SHE wont shut up. my mom and dad never stop, she complains to me about him, and work, and life and everything else you could possibly think of to complain about. but when i even try to talk to her about my day, she ignores me, or tells me to be quiet cuz she's watching the news. my dad has always never paied much attention to me sense i started with my depression and other crap, he thinks i'm screwed up and have no real conception of reality. and when we do talk, he just gives me a "why are you so weird?" look. and walks away. now i have just been informed that i will never see Lu-Lu again. i know, i haven't talked about him much lately. i didn't want to. and there wasn't much to say. he'd gone away for a while. now they have told me he is gone for good. my life was pretty much already shit. i really didn't need someone to go and use it as a toilet. jennie, steph, shara, and Lu-Lu were all that was helping. sarah and steph live somewhere else, and lately i haven't heard from sarah. and now Lu-Lu is gone. if anything happens to Jen-Jen i don't think i'm going to be very happy. if something does, i'm going to start to get the feeling that someone doesn't like me... anyway, sorry for the downer. bye bye now.

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